Dating In Your 30’s and 40’s
Being single is not easy especially if you’re in your 30’s and 40’s. Most of your friends are married with kids. It’s tough going to each of your friends weddings, watching them begin a new life while your life doesn’t seem to change. Yeah work is good and you’re able to save a lot of money because you don’t have a family but, you’re alone.
Dating was much easier when you were younger. The dating pool was definitely bigger. Now you find that you don’t have many choices. Most of the people you do meet have children from a previous marriage. That’s not an easy situation to be in. It’s tough dating someone with kids. You’re not one of their parents so you can’t expect them to listen to you or get too attached to you.
It’s also hard to find time alone once your relationship gets more serious. Being intimate with someone while they have a bunch of kids in the house is kind of nerve racking even when they are asleep for the night. I’m not used to kids possibly waking in the middle of the night. I can however understand the need to remain as secretive as possible.
The other issue with dating someone who has kids is their relationship with the children’s father. Sometimes people end a marriage willing to remain friends for the sake of the kids. Other times there is so much hostility left. It’s this hostility that you can find yourself in the middle of.
Dating in your 30’s and 40’s is also tough because it’s incredibly hard to find single people. You spend most of your week working. Where can you go on the weekend to meet people? There are some clubs and bars that cater toward older singles but they are few and far between. I have started joining local singles groups. You can check them out either online or your local newspaper.
I found my group in the local newspaper. A lot of churches also host singles outings. This is a great idea if you want to date in your particular religious circle. The outings are casual in a down to earth setting. Writing an ad for the personals is another great way to meet people however, the idea of meeting a total stranger can be scary.
There are a few advantages to dating in your 30’s and 40’s. The biggest one is that you know who you are as a person. In your late teens and 20’s you’re still searching for who you are. You’re also not sure of what you want in a relationship. Many of us are just getting into the fields we work in and need time to concentrate on that. As you get older, you are more self aware and less insecure as a person. You’re more settled in your career.
Usually there is less head games involved in dating. People our age are more direct and interested in finding companionship. In my opinion it is harder to find someone in your 30’s and 40’s but it is possible. It may take a while to find the right person but don’t let your age get you down.
